Sometimes Change Is Everything
by McDayDreaming
Summary: New title. Meredith and Derek are going through a rough patch when something happens that will change Derek's life forever! Will it bring them closer together or tear them apart? Chapter 5 as in FIVE is finally up! Please let me know what you think!
1. Chapter 1

Sometimes Change Is Everything

Derek Shepperd sighed, running his hand through his dark curls. "Meredith I didn't mean to forget our plans tonight! It just things were crazy at the hospital. There were a lot of head traumas that came in with that car pile up on the interstate. There were so many surgeries and consults. I didn't realize what time it was. I'm sorry! He leaned in for a kiss, but she backed away, anger evident in her light green eyes.

"Derek! I'm sorry isn't gonna cut it this time! Today is our second anniversary for God sake! And you didn't even call to tell me that you weren't gonna make it to the restaurant? I felt so stupid sitting there waiting for you for over an hour and a half! The wait staff started giving me sympathetic glances after 30 minutes, but I wasn't ready to give up on you that easy! I thought you'd at least call! You're supposed to be my knight in shining whatever, and you told me you would always show up. What happened to that promise huh? As she said the last words her expression changed from one of rage to one of pain and sadness. Her voice cracked a little, and tears were flowing freely down her cheeks.

Many thoughts were floating around Derek's head, but he tried to keep his tone calm and soothing, "look baby I'm sorry. I really am! I don't know what else you want me to say, but you know how stressful work can be some days. It doesn't give you a lot of room to stop and think or even breathe. Sometimes it's like you're on autopilot, you know? Just so focused on what you need to do, or how you're gonna save a life that it's like the outside world doesn't exist?

She sighed exasperated. "Of course I do! I've felt like that many times, including today, with all the craziness of that accident; but I made a conscious effort not to get too lost in all the chaos because I had plans with you. There was more I could've and should've done, but I didn't! I got Izze and Christina to cover for me because you come first! Bailey will probably rip my head off if she finds out I left at the end of my shift, but I don't care!"

At the end of her speech he felt anger bubbling inside him, "well sometimes it's not that easy! I can't just get someone to cover for me!" His voice was loud and harsh now.

"I get that Derek. I know you have an expertise that no one else does. That's why you're a renowned neurosurgeon. Your talents amaze me! All I'm asking for is a little consideration and effort here! I don't want to end up the way my mom and dad did! With these words Meredith felt tears sting her eyes again.

This comparison shocked Derek. There was no way they'd end up like that! Their relationship was completely different, but he figured she wouldn't listen anyway, so he said nothing.

Meredith took a few deep breaths before speaking again, "I know work gets in the way of things a lot. That's one of the reasons I was really looking forward to tonight, because I was sure I'd get to spend some time alone with you."

He took a couple steps closer to her, gently taking her hands, "well we're alone now, he said raising his eyebrows hopefully with a mischievous sparkle in his eyes.

"Yeah good try Shepperd. I'm not in the mood! She stomped up to her bedroom pissed off. She couldn't believe him! He was trying to turn this fight into an opportunity to get lucky. Men were pigs. All of them!

Derek didn't even attempt to follow her. There was no pleasing her now. He decided to get out of there before he said or did something he would really regret. He'd take a drive to clear his head. He grabbed his car keys and left without a word. He barley noticed the rain pelting him as he stepped into his car. The rain was one thing that kind of bugged him about Seattle. Usually he found it depressing. It was something he just couldn't get used to, but tonight the gloomy weather matched his foul mood.

He wasn't really sure where he was going. He was on autopilot again, just seeing where the roads would lead him. He wasn't at all surprised to find himself at the pier. He always had a thing for ferryboats. Seattle had ferryboats. He smiled a little at this thought. It was one of the reasons why he loved it here. Of course there were no ferryboats out at this hour. There was only the water, which seemed dark against the backdrop of the night sky, crashing against the dock. It was a relaxing sound. Derek stretched and yawned as he got out of the car, finally realizing how tired he was. The rain had let up a little. It wasn't much more than a drizzle now. The air was crisp, but not too cold. He found it welcome and refreshing.

As he peered out at the water memories crept into his mind; like how beautiful Meredith was, even with no make up when her dirty blonde hair was pulled into a messy ponytail. Or the way she looked at him from across a room. She could say so much with her eyes. Then there was the way it felt when she kissed him. That though gave him goose bumps. It was an indescribable feeling, one that hadn't existed with his ex wife Addison. And how could he forget the way she crinkled her nose when he made her laugh really hard, or the sound of her laugh. He searched his mind and found that happy times with Meredith were few and far between lately.

"Oh God she was right!" he said to himself With this realization he began to remember darker times; like when she walked away after learning that he and Addison were married, or how much it hurt him to tell her to be with Finn because he was the better guy for her. These thoughts made his heart hurt. He couldn't lose her! He let a few tears escape from his blue-gray eyes. Then he vowed that he would do everything in his power to make his girlfriend the number one priority in his life! He glanced at his watch. It was 3:10 AM. She'd definitely be sleeping, but he needed to see her now. To tell her he'd been an idiot!

With that thought resonating mind in he sped towards Meredith's house. He was half way there when he hit a red light. A pair of headlights jolted him from his thoughts. They were coming straight for him at a good speed. He froze. A couple seconds later he felt the impact of the other car, the sound of grinding metal and breaking glass was unlike anything he'd ever heard before. It was deafening, and awful. Derek's head started to throb, and he was aware of blood trickling and spurting out of his body. He was breathing hard and his heart was racing. He tried to calm himself down so he could figure out a way to get help, but it was getting harder and harder to think. He felt nauseous and everything was spinning. Fade to black.


	2. Chapter 2

Meredith lay in her bed staring at the ceiling. She had heard someone come in the front door about an hour ago. She assumed Izzie was finally done at the hospital. If it had been Derek he would have tried to talk to her. She was glad it wasn't him. She had nothing left to say to that man right now. Just thinking about him caused feelings of rage, no, hatred to flow through her. She yawned warily. She needed sleep, but her brain wouldn't have it. She rolled over and looked at her clock radio. As the harsh red numbers changed from 3:29 to 3:30 a shiver ceased her body. She was now chilled to the core and left with a queasy feeling in the pit of her stomach. She figured any efforts to warm up would be futile, but she had to try. She grabbed a thick fleece blanket from the hall closet and tuned back towards her room. Then hot chocolate came to mind. She couldn't resist the temptation and went downstairs to make some.

A few minutes later the kettle whistled and she poured herself a cup. She wrapped the blanket around her shoulders and began plopping marshmallows into the frothy brown liquid. While stirring it something caught her eye. It was box wrapped in silver paper. She hadn't noticed it there before. Beside it was an envelope with Mer scrawled on it. She couldn't help but chuckle a little at his horrendous handwriting. She reached across the table and picked up the box. She tore through the paper and opened it. Inside she found a gold heart with the word _Forever _engraved on it. It hung on a thin gold chain that was delicate and pretty. She soon discovered that it was a locket. Inside was a picture of her and Derek sitting on a picnic blanket on a rare and beautiful sunny summer day. They were both smiling widely, their arms wrapped around each other. It was perfect.

Meredith could remember the day well. It wasn't long after they met, before all the drama with Addison. _Derek stood on the front steps. His expression was almost giddy; "I have a surprise for you."_

"_Derek I hate surprises!"_

"_Aw come on Meredith you'll like this one. I promise! Just come with me please? He asked taking her hand. She was still skeptical. He pouted a little and gave her puppy dog eyes. How could she say no?_

"_Okay."_

_He flashed her that McDreamy smile that made her weak in the knees and said "great!"_

_A short time later Derek parked his car on a street Meredith didn't recognize and asked her to wait there. She heard him rummaging around in the trunk, and then she saw him sprint away arms fully loaded. She smiled amused wondering what he was up to. Just when she was wishing that she'd brought a book he came around to her side of the car and opened the door. "Hey beautiful, sorry about the wait. Follow me. They walked about a block and a half until they came to a park. She followed him to a spot next to a tall tree. There she saw a big picnic blanket. On it there was an assortment of sandwiches salads and side dishes. He really went all out. There was even a bottle of wine and a few desserts. She already had her eye on some chocolate cake._

"_Well what do you think?"_

"_You did good Shepperd, she said giving him a quick kiss. Even in the brief moments their lips touched a tingling sensation went from head to toe. Definite chemistry. They spent the rest of the day talking about anything and everything, stuffing their faces, playing Frisbee, chasing each other around the park, and just sitting in silence. She remembered how great it felt just to be with him. Oh, and the chemistry. There was definitely more of that!_

As the memories faded she found herself staring at the photo getting lost in his eyes. They were like endless oceans she could stare into forever. Out of the corner of her eye she spied the envelope and it didn't take long for her curiosity to peak. Inside she found no card just a short note.

Dear Meredith,

I know you've been through a lot of hard times in your life, and I know I've let you down more than a few times. Though I'll try my hardest I can't protect you from everything bad in the world, and we both know I'll screw up sometimes, but now you can always keep a happy memory close to your heart…

Happy 2nd anniversary!

Love Derek (Your knight in shining whatever)

A tear rolled down her cheek. She was surprised she had any tears left. Both the gift and those words reminded her how much he cared. "Wait a minute!" she said to herself, "he earned some major brownie points here, but you can't let him off the hook that easily for what happened today! She took a sip of her hot chocolate and swished it around in her mouth. She closed her eyes savoring its sweetness. Though she was determined to stay mad at him her thoughts flew immediately to the man she lovedShe imagined him planting a gentle kiss on her lips_. She reveled in the taste of him. The moment became more sensual as she inhaled the familiar scent of Old Spice mixed with a fruity shampoo. She wasn't ready for this to end yet. She kissed him back with every ounce of love and passion she felt. Soon their tongues were dancing. _She heard a pager beeping incessantly, but it sounded far away. Her eyelids had begun to feel heavy.

"Meredith."

Someone was calling her name, but she wanted to stay in this sweet dream.

"MEREDITH!!!

They sounded almost hysterical this time.

She opened her eyes and saw her roommate Izzie Stevens standing beside her. The ex model's usually perfect blonde tresses were un-proportionate due to bed head, and the extra large t-shirt she wore at night was wrinkled; it clung to her body. Her brown eyes were glistening.

"Mere we have to go!!! It it it's Derek. He was brought in about 20 minutes ago!!!!"

Meredith's eyes went wide in disbelief and she almost choked on the hot chocolate was about to swallow. That queasy feeling she had earlier returned. She ran to the bathroom, and emptied the contents of her stomach into the toilet. When she was done she looked into the mirror. Fear was all she saw in her eyes. This has to be a cruel joke or a bad dream I'll wake up from. "God please let me wake up!" she whispered to her reflection.


	3. Chapter 3

The drive to the hospital was a blur for Meredith. She didn't say a word the whole way there. She didn't know how to put what she felt into words, and she didn't really want to anyway. She was torn, hoping for the best, but expecting the worst. As Izzie pulled into the staff parking lot Meredith felt her chest tighten. Seattle Grace had always offered her a sense of purpose, a sense of belonging. When she was here she felt like somebody. When she was here she was more than just a scary and damaged person. When she was here she mattered! Today was different though. Today this place held no good feelings. Today this was the last place in the world she wanted to be.

Izzie turned the engine off, "Mer we're here." she said fighting to keep her voice steady. She needed to be strong for her friend.

Meredith didn't move. She didn't want to go in. Going in would mean that she couldn't deny it. It would mean this nightmare was a reality.

"Mer come on! Derek needs you!"

Somehow those words broke through her fear. This wasn't about her. It was about him. _You can do this Meredith, just put one foot in front of the other._ As she stepped toward the entrance she had to keep reminding herself to breathe. The familiar white sterile halls felt confining. Izzie was murmuring reassuring words but she wasn't paying attention. She came to a sudden stop and Meredith wondered why. Then she noticed Alex had joined them.

"So where's Dr. Shepperd?" Izzie asked.

"OR two," he said matter-of-factly. This was typical of Alex Karev. He did have a heart. It was just buried a deeper than most. That was part of his appeal with the opposite sex. All the girls he dated probably thought they could be the ones to crack his tough exterior. Addison and "The Vagina Squad" were slowly succeeding at that. The three interns slowly made their way towards OR

"Is it bad?" Izzie asked, her voice full of concern.

Alex described Derek's condition in the same tone he had used earlier, "yeah, he's pretty banged up. He has a few broken bones. He's loosing a lot of blood. He's not breathing on his own and there's no brain activity." His last sentence hung in the air like a thick fog.

Izzie scowled at Alex; actually it might be more accurate to say that she gave him a death stare. She knew that to him Derek was nothing more than one of his bosses, a doctor, someone he could learn from. He knew how much the man meant to Meredith though, and he should've been a lot more sensitive!

Meredith stopped walking. She leaned on a wall and slid down to the floor. Tears were streaming down her face. She did nothing to stop them. She didn't think she could even if she wanted to. She resigned herself to the soul consuming sadness, put her head in hands and sobbed uncontrollably.

Izzie sat next to Meredith, but she didn't speak right away giving her the chance to release her emotions. In that moment she wondered how she'd ever found Karev sexy. Sure his short brown hair and engaging deep brown eyes were nice eye candy, but that's not everything. Part of sexiness is how you carry yourself and he could be a huge ass sometimes. He knew he was good looking, and at times he got cocky about it. It was annoying! Izzie didn't have a boyfriend right now. She hadn't really moved on since her fiancée Denny died, but she was glad she wasn't involved with Alex anymore. Although she had to admit she kind of missed the sex. They did have great sex! What was she doing? This wasn't the time or place to be thinking about that! She pushed those thoughts aside to focus on Meredith.

She gently touched her on the shoulder and said, "Mer, Derek's gonna be fine!"

Meredith took a couple shaky breaths before acknowledging Izzie's words, "wh- what makes you so sure?

"He loves you too much to leave you! He'll wake up. He'll be fine and you guys will live happily ever after. Izzie knew there was a chance that what she was saying wasn't true, but deep down in her heart she believed it! If love could keep anyone together it in circumstances would be Meredith and Derek! They'd been through a lot in the short time they'd known each other, but they were together now; and they loved each other so much! She believed fate brought the two of them together. So he had to wake up!

Meredith could only hope that were true. She didn't doubt his love for her but she didn't know if it would be enough? She wished that tonight had gone differently. That their last words weren't angry. The fight kept replaying in her mind.

Alex had been watching from across the hall. He noticed Meredith seemed a little calmer now. He walked over to her. Izzie's eyes told him to back off but he didn't. "Hey Grey I'm sorry I was so blunt before. There's just no easy way to say that stuff, and you know me. I don't know if I'll ever get used to this side of things."

Meredith knew what he meant. He was talking about telling patient's families and loved ones bad news. She said nothing and continued looking at her lap letting the tears fall.

He placed a finger under her chin forcing her to look at him, "Izzie's right ya know! Don't give up on him! "

He was right. She should have faith! She smiled a little.

"We should go. Everyone else is waiting for news by the OR" He offered his hand to help Meredith up. She took it and said, "Okay."

Izzie smiled, he wasn't always an ass.

Meredith continued to hold Alex's hand as they walked. Izzie quickly caught up with them and took her free hand. They didn't say anything. They didn't have to. It was nice to know they were there for her.

When they came to the hall that led to OR Two they were greeted by Christina, George and Callie. The atmosphere was somber. Though the group cared about Dr. Shepperd none of them knew him on a personal level, so most of their concern was for Meredith. No one seemed to know what to say.

Meredith let go of her friend's hands and walked up to the plexi glass window in the door of the OR. Inside she saw him. He was pale and the right side of his face was purple and bloody. He had a fairly big gash on his forehead. She could tell he had had a broken arm and a broken leg. He was intubated, and hooked to a cardiac monitor and EEG. He looked very fragile. His expression was peaceful. It gave Meredith some comfort just to see him. There was still hope. Sloan, Burke, Bailey, and Chief Webber were all in there. They hadn't given up on him yet. She couldn't focus on what they were doing. Her mind was too clouded by emotion. It was probably for the best anyway. She snapped out of her thoughts when she saw something flicker. Her eyes darted toward the cardiac monitor. He was flat lining! _God this can't be happening! _She couldn't watch this. She couldn't breathe. She had to get out of there. She turned around and ran into Alex.

He wasn't good at this stuff, but he would do his best for Meredith's sake. He put his arms around her and she let her body relax. "it's gonna be okay."

"You don't understand! she screamed. We had a fight and now he's flat lining and I-I-I didn't even tell him I loved him before he left!"

She was beyond hysterical now. Her tears were soaking through his scrubs, "it's okay Mer. I'm sure he knows! And besides he's gonna make it. You know he's in the best hands." He felt her nod against his chest but the tears continue to flow steadily. He rubbed her back gently. The two of them stood like that for what felt like an eternity.

The rest of the group stood silent. Lost in there own thoughts.

Christina Yang didn't want to be standing where she was. She didn't deal with this kind of stuff well. Emotions just weren't her thing. She had never seen Meredith in a state like this before and it was scaring her. Christina loved Meredith like a sister. She was her person, but she felt helpless. You couldn't fix this kind of pain with a pill or a stitch. She was baffled by and yet thankful for the sudden closeness between Meredith and Alex. It meant she didn't have to try to comfort her. That would be more than she could handle. She was there. At this point that was the best she could do. Her almond shaped brown eyes darted across the space in search of a distraction but it was useless. There was nothing.

Izzie found herself becoming jealous of Alex. He and Meredith had always been friends, but when did they get this close? If Christina was her person and Alex was, well whatever he was where did that leave her? Shortly after those thoughts formed in her mind Izzie chastised herself for having them. She told herself to grow up. This was Meredith's darkest hour. At least someone was there for her.

Two pairs of brown eyes locked as George and Callie O'Malley shared a nervous glance. Derek was in the best hands, but what if he wasn't okay? George held his wife's hand tightly. He was the first to break their gaze_. When he closed his eyes he was transported back in time. He remembered the first time he laid eyes on Meredith and how beautiful she was. Old feelings that were long forgotten came rushing back to him. He could feel the butterflies in his stomach. They became friends almost instantly, but that wasn't enough. He tried to get her to notice him in subtle ways for a long time. It was probably about a year, but it seemed he was invisible. Then one rainy night he took the advice Izzie had given him and went for it. He went up to Meredith's room closed the door behind him and told her exactly how he felt about her. They ended up sleeping together that night, but Meredith was in tears before the deed was done. It was then that George knew she wouldn't ever feel for him what she felt about McDreamy. Of course this bruised his ego in a big way, and things were awkward between him and Meredith for a while. In fact they were so awkward that he had to move out of her house. He couldn't bear the though of seeing her at work AND at home. Time gave him a new perspective on the whole incident. He now saw it as fate's way of pushing him towards Callie. _He was snapped back to reality when he felt her grip tighten. He stole a glance at her. Her long thick raven hair was perfectly in place even though she hadn't done anything with it before they left home Her eyes were even bigger than normal, and she looked frightened and worried. He wondered what she was thinking.

Then his eyes wandered to Meredith. She was still crying and she looked so frail. Suddenly he wasn't so sure about fate anymore. What kind of higher power would put her through this? He didn't even want to think about what it would do to her if Derek didn't wake up.

Callie had never been Meredith's number one fan, She'd always been jealous of the bond that Meredith and the other interns had. It made her feel like an outsider. She felt like she came second to them in George's eyes. Things were different this morning though. As she watched her desperately clinging to Alex Callie could put herself in Meredith's shoes. If something like this happened to George she would be devastated. She looked over at her husband. He looked pale tired and sad. She reached up and ruffled his already messy brown hair. For a moment that innocent smile she loved spread across his lips.

Everyone was so caught up in their own thoughts that they didn't notice the chief walk out of the OR. He cleared his throat and all eyes were on him, "he's stable." At those words everyone breathed a sigh of relief, thankful that he was out of immediate danger. Shortly after Bailey came out.

"What are you guys all doing standing around here! You're late for rounds go now!"

Everyone reluctantly scattered after telling Meredith that things would be okay, and that she could find them if she needed too. Alex was the last to leave. He gave her a squeeze before releasing her from his embrace.

"Page me if you need me okay?"

"Okay, thanks Alex.

"No problem Grey"

Meredith found herself alone in a room with Derek's lifeless body. The only sounds in the room were coming from machines. It was almost unbearable. She pulled a chair next to his bed and took his free hand. Her mind drifted back to the ferryboat crash about a year before. She had just finished saving a man's life when he freaked out and started thrashing, and she got pushed into the cold waters of Pudget Sound. She knew how to swim, but after a few moments she just gave up. She figured being letting the current pull her under would be easier facing herself every day. She thought her life didn't matter. She was just an ordinary nobody. She would never be as good as her mother was. How could she ever measure up to the great Ellis Grey, surgical genius? Of course she knew differently now. She knew how much her friends and Derek needed her, and how much she needed them. She even knew that "dead mommy" was proud of her. She wondered if this is how Derek felt. when she was in limbo and Bailey and the others were trying to save her? She suspected it was. The thought made her feel even guiltier than she felt before.

"Oh baby I'm so sorry! I'm sorry for the fight. I'm sorry for giving up on myself and making you go through all that, but you're a huge part of the reason I wanted a second chance! You can't give up on yourself! I need you! You can't give up on me, on us! You still have so much to offer the world! Derek you have to wake up!"

When she ran out of words she stared at his eyes willing him to open them. They remained closed. Her body ached with sorrow, but she could not cry. All her tears were spent. She put her head on his chest, careful not to disturb any tubes or wires. His steady heartbeat was reassuring. It lulled her into a dreamless sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N Sorry this took me so long! A lot of it was written pre-finale so go with me. And yes I know the interns would be residents by this time, but go with me again. I hope you like it! Please let me know!

It had been two days since the accident and there was still no change in Derek's condition. With each passing minute Meredith's fear intensified, but for the most part she kept her feelings to herself. She would talk to Derek as though he could hear her. Some small part of her hoped that he could. She also read to him. Sometimes articles she thought would interest him from a magazine, a medical journal or The Seattle Post-Intelligencer, but mostly chapters from his favorite book, The Sun Also Rises. She rarely left his side. When she did it was usually to give his mother and sister or staff members a few moments alone with him. During this time she busied herself by collecting reading materials.

Izzie, Christina, George, and Callie came by on their lunches and whenever they had any free time. They would tell her about their days and about any cool surgeries they had. Meredith appreciated their company. She did her best to seem interested in their melodrama. It was after all what kept life at Seattle Grace interesting, but to her it all seemed so trivial. All she wanted was to get lost in Derek's eyes, to see him smile, to feel his strong arms around her. She just needed HIM. She hated the way they looked at her now. She almost couldn't handle the mixture of sadness and fear in their eyes. She couldn't deny or suppress what she felt when it stared her in the face.

Alex came by too, but it was different with him. He seemed to sense what she felt. He would ask her how it was going and then just sit with her. If she wanted to talk he would let her steer the conversation. Sometimes she would break down in front of him. He would hold her. It made her feel safe. When he looked at her she saw compassion in his eyes. This surprised her but she was really grateful for it. No matter how much he tried to deny it Alex Karev really was one of the good ones.

Meredith looked at her watch. It was later than she remembered. She must have dosed off for a couple hours. She stood up from her chair and stretched her sore muscles. She noticed the sun streaming through the slats in the blinds. She walked over to the window pulling them open. A beautiful blue sky was before her. She opened the window and a cool breeze caressed her skin. She stood there for a minute enjoying the feeling. She longed to be outside taking in the perfect weather but she couldn't leave. She sighed turning back to Derek. She studied his face. The bruising was just beginning to heal. Her eyes settled on his whiskers. There had to be at least four days of growth there. He needed a shave. She was very gently wiping the remnants of shaving cream off his face when Alex stepped into the room unnoticed.

"That's better," she said aloud as she finished.

Alex couldn't help but chuckle.

She turned around and saw the smirk on his face.

"Shut up Karev," she said, playfully punching him in the arm with her tiny ineffectual fists.

His smirk broadened into a smile before he spoke, "I didn't even say anything. I just think it's cute. You're such a devoted girlfriend."

Meredith rolled her eyes and matched his mocking tone, "I thought I told you to shut up!"

He was surprised that Meredith seemed to be in such high spirits but he didn't question it. "Whatever Grey you know you love it!"

"You can be such an ass Alex."

"Well I was gonna ask if you wanted to take a walk with me, but I don't think I will now, he said as walked away pretending to be hurt and disgusted. When she made no attempt to stop him from leaving or follow him he turned around, "Come on Mer let's go."

"I can't."

He knew she was hesitant to leave Derek. "We won't be gone long and we both have our pagers.

"No Alex, what if… She didn't finish her sentence, but he knew what she was thinking. He saw the fear in her eyes. He reached for her hand and gave it a squeeze. He'd been patient and understanding with Meredith throughout this ordeal, but this time he wasn't gonna let her have her way. She needed to get away even if it was only for a few minutes. "Meredith can you look me in the eye and tell me you don't wanna get outta here? You've been in this room for almost three days straight!"

She looked at the floor and didn't say anything for a while. When she did look up he could tell she was struggling to find the right words.

"It's not that. I just feel like I should be with him. How would you feel if it were Addie laying here?

Addison Montgomery had gone back to LA just days after giving her resignation. She wanted to start a new life without McDreamy or McSteamy. She liked working with Naomi and Sam at Oceanside. Though time had changed both of her friends it felt natural to her be around them every day. It was almost as if they hadn't taken different paths after med school. The other staff at the health complex were very nice and they made her feel at home as well. Despite Sam's warnings the sparks that occurred with Pete on her first trip there were quickly becoming something more. Addison was sure she had left Seattle and all of its drama behind for good. That was until Richard Webber called her for a consult a month and a half later. She'd had reservations about going back, but it was a V.I.P. case and a very high-risk pregnancy. He said he needed the best and she couldn't let him down. Before catching her flight she told herself that she would do her job and go back home before she could get caught up in anything or anyone, but in life things in life don't always work out the way we planned.

Alex felt his heartbeat quicken as he thought about the tall leggy woman with long red hair and crystal blue eyes. He used to hate being assigned to her service. He thought that she requested him all the time because she got some kind of kick out of watching him suffer, but now he realized that she had a lot to teach him. She had obviously seen something in him that he didn't know was there. Not only did her lessons make him a better surgeon, they made him a better person as well. Not that he would ever admit that to anybody but it was true. It hadn't taken long for the physical attraction to become apparent after spending hours together in the NICU. She was hot and Alex liked the fact that she wanted him. If he was honest with himself though the attraction went beyond the physical very quickly, but he got scared when she made it clear she wanted a relationship. He never really cared about anyone before. Not the way he cared about her. He didn't wanna hurt her and he didn't wanna get hurt, so he blew her off. That had been the wrong choice, and he'd had a month and a half to think about just how wrong. So on the day she walked back into Seattle Grace he wasted no time in telling her how he felt and eventually, after she felt he'd proven himself to her she let him in.

He was taken aback by Meredith's question. He hadn't really thought about it before. As he put himself in her shoes he felt like someone punched him hard in the stomach. The simple act of breathing became difficult. He was shocked at how affected he was by the thought of something serious happening to his girlfriend. "In truth I probably wouldn't wanna leave her either, but that doesn't mean it would be healthy. "Would Derek be happy if he knew you were spending every waking minute with him? I think he would want you to take some time for yourself."

"You're right. I'll go, can you give me a minute though?"

"Yeah."

He waited just outside the door.

Meredith took Derek's hand and squeezed it. "I'll be back soon. I love you. Before turning to leave she bent down and kissed him on the cheek.

"I saw that."

"Shut up," she said with a laugh.

Once they got on the elevator Alex pressed 6. Meredith looked at him confused, "I thought you said we were going for a walk?"

"We are, but there's something I gotta do first. When the elevator stopped he headed straight for the NICU. Meredith followed without question.

Alex found Addison staring intently at Molly Johnson, a premature baby with a heart defect. He tapped her on the shoulder. She turned around. "How is she?

"The operation went well, but the next 48 hours will be critical."

Alex took a few steps forward and stuck a finger into the incubator. The little girl gazed up at him and wrapped her perfect miniature fist around it. After a few seconds had passed he said, "She's a strong one. She'll pull through."

"I hope so." Addison's gaze was now on the man in front of her. She was in awe of how much he'd changed over the years. Her thoughts dissipated when she felt his arms around her. He pulled her close and kissed her passionately on the lips. She felt kind of dizzy as they broke apart, "Wow," she said, her voice barely above a whisper.

"I know." He spoke hushed tone, his chocolate drop eyes dancing. "Addie I love you."

"I love you too." Her heart melted right then and there, but the whole experience caught her off guard. Public displays of affection were out of character for Alex. He usually didn't use mushy sentiments unless they were alone either. "What brought this on?

He shrugged, "I don't know."

Now that was typical Alex. It was useless to fight it. Addison knew that no matter what the rest of the day brought she would face it with a big goofy smile.

Meredith couldn't believe she'd seen the events that had just played out before her. "Oh my god you are such a hypocrite. You rag on me for being devoted and then you go and do THAT."

He grinned at Meredith, "maybe you're rubbing off on me."

Addison hadn't noticed Meredith's presence earlier. She laughed at the two friends as they walked away.

Alex and Meredith had just about come to the end of the walking path for inpatients and their loved ones. They walked in comfortable silence, just enjoying the weather.

"What do you say we go for coffee?"

"I should be getting back."

"Oh come on Mer, my treat. I'll buy you some ridiculously fattening dessert?

Meredith had to admit she was starving, and it would be nice to indulge her sweet tooth away from the watchful eye of her health nut boyfriend. He would bug her about such things unless it was a special occasion. "Okay."

Before long they were at The Roastery, a small coffee shop not far from the hospital. Alex ordered a large dark roast for himself and a large mocachino with a piece of Turtles cheesecake for Meredith.

"Thanks Alex, do u wanna sit outside?"

"No problem. Sure, lets do it," he said handing her her stuff before making his way toward the door.

"So do you know what's going on with Christina?" he asked. "She's been acting so normal lately, it's weird. It's like she's lost her edge or something. The Korean woman who could usually be described as opinionated, competitive, cynical and sarcastic had become docile and uncharacteristically quiet even before Derek's accident.

"Well her first real anniversary with Burke is coming up. When I say real I mean wedding anniversary, so you know, it's a big deal. And apparently she's overheard Burke making plans and he's making a HUGE deal out of it. So now she's totally freaking out about what to get him." Talking about Christina's anniversary brought back memories of the fight with Derek, but Alex was quick to make her laugh.

"Really? Man he's got her whipped. I never thought I'd see the day."

"I know it's hilarious, but don't tell her I told you or she'll kick my ass."

He didn't say anything. He just grinned at her mischievously. She needed to change the subject fast and hope he'd forget what she told him.

As silence fell between the two interns Mark Sloan stepped into Derek's room. Much to his relief it was empty. He had just completed a facial reconstruction on a burn victim, but he wasn't feeling the buzz that normally accompanied a successful surgery. His mind was on the past. There was something he needed to say to his old friend, and he needed to say it now in case time ran out. Sitting in the chair by the bed he took off his navy blue scrub cap revealing his signature crew cut. His once brown hair was had turned almost completely gray. Of course his mustache and beard were also touched by time, but this did nothing to diminish his ability to impress the ladies. He was definitely still McSteamy. In the moment though all traces of confidence, arrogance or cockiness were gone as he fidgeted and played with the scrub cap.

"Derek I understand why you're still mad at me. I did the worst thing a best friend could do. I let my feelings for woman come between us, and not just any woman, your wife! I know that Addison deserves some of the blame too, but I should've been the bigger person. I should've ended it before it started. It doesn't matter that I loved her. Hell who am kidding I still love her, but that's not the point. The point is I betrayed you and for that I'm sorry! I miss the way things were in college. All the good times we had," he reached for Derek's limp hand, "I always hoped we could get that close again someday, but I just-I just don't know… I always thought we'd have more time." Tears stung his blue-green eyes and began to trickle down his face. He wiped at them furiously with his free hand. If someone like saw him like that it would ruin his reputation. Despite his efforts tears kept coming. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry buddy" He was just about to go splash some cold water on his face and try to pull himself together when he felt Derek's fingers close around his own. Mark's head shot up. His eyes swept over Derek's body. It was still as before. _Man I must be losing it! _But there was this little voice in his head told him that wasn't true. "Derek do that again if you can hear me." Immediately he felt Derek's fingers close around his own again and saw his eyes open very slowly. Mark was overcome with emotion but he had to keep his cool. Derek needed him now.

Back at the Roastery Alex and Meredith had been making small talk about random pointless things like the weather when a devilish smile crossed her lips. Alex knew he wasn't gonna like what she had to say next.

"So things must be getting pretty serious between you and Addie? I mean after what happened in the NICU today it's pretty obvious." She already had a pretty good idea how serious things were between him and the OBGYN. She just needed him to say it, to make him squirm a little.

Alex looked at the table avoiding eye contact. He noticed that Meredith had finished her cheesecake. Thinking back over the last two days he realized that she probably hadn't eaten very much. He bought her meals a couple times at the hospital and she just kind of picked at them. "Looks like you could use another piece of cake," he said getting up before she could object.

She laughed, amused by his attempt to avoid the conversation at hand. He was back less than five minutes later.

"There ya go," he said handing her the plate.

"Thanks," but you didn't answer my question.

He cleared his throat and shifted nervously in his chair, "Yeah they're pretty serious."

"That's all your giving me? Seriously! Over the last two days I've practically bared my soul to you. I've even cried in front of you. I deserve more than that!

He sighed defeated, "I think she might be the one."

Meredith was speechless. She hadn't been expecting that. Those words had so many ramifications. Was it possible? Did Alex Karev actually believe in true love? Meredith was so deep in thought about this revelation that the noise from the other tables was no longer audible to her.

At that moment Meredith's state of mind was a stark contrast to the chaos of Derek's hospital room at Seattle Grace. Mark flipped a switch on the wall and people came rushing in. Many were familiar faces, but he couldn't really focus on any one of them. They were all yelling orders and checking things, which didn't help Derek's pounding head. He hurt in so many places. It even hurt to breathe, but at least his legs weren't hurting. He looked down at them. His left one was in a cast. It should have been hurting like a bitch, but it didn't. Then it hit him. He couldn't feel his legs. Though this thought alarmed him it was not at the front of his mind. All he wanted was to sleep so he could go back to a place where plain didn't exist, but first he had to find Meredith. He needed her. He tried to talk, but something was stuck in his throat. All that came out was a moan. It sounded pitiful.

"Derek just a second you're intubated. Don't fight it. I need you to exhale for me." Derek did as was told and Mark slowly pulled the tube out of his mouth. Once it was extracted he started to cough violently. Mark disappeared .He reappeared shortly holding a glass of water and a straw. He put the straw into the glass and held it up to his friend's lips. Derek drank gratefully. The liquid felt good as it traveled down his dry and scratchy throat, and the coughing eventually subsided. "Thanks Mark." He almost didn't recognize the sound of his own voice. It was raspy and weak.

Mark didn't say anything. He was afraid that if he opened his mouth he wouldn't be able to keep his emotions in check. He just grinned and gave his shoulder a slight squeeze and then left the room.

After that the onslaught of questions began. Everyone had questions So many questions, too many questions, and they were all taking turns asking them. "How are you feeling? Do you know why you're here? What's the last thing you remember? Does this hurt? and on and on and on. He knew they were just doing their jobs, but eventually he had enough.

George O'Malley's voice pulled him back to reality, "Dr Shepperd can you answer my question please?"

"No Dr. O'Malley no I won't! Right now I'm in SO much pain. All I wanna do is see Meredith and then go to sleep! Do you know where she is?"

George backed away from the bed a little. He'd never seen the attending's eyes darken with anger like that before.

"I'll give you some morphine for the pain, and I think Alex said something about taking her for a walk. He figured it would be a nice break because she's been cooped up in here ever since your accident. I can page her if you want."

All the anger he felt left him as he thought of Meredith sitting faithfully by his side. It was so sweet of her. "No don't. Dr. Karev had a good idea. She probably does need a break." With that George left the room. Everyone else followed his lead and all was finally quiet. Derek fought hard to stay awake and wait for Meredith. He wanted to see her perfect face before drifting off to dream land, but the morphine was already starting to take effect. His last thought was of her snuggling close to him. He could feel her warm breath on his skin.

"Meredith are you still with me?" Alex asked after she zoned out for several minutes.

"I'm sorry but this is big! It's huge! It's like monumental or something!

"Geez, it's not that big of deal!"

"How can you say that?"

"This is exactly why I didn't wanna tell anyone."

"I thought you said you weren't Addison's type?

"When Ava told me Addie was looking for a guy that barbeques and teaches the kids to play baseball I knew I wasn't that guy. I'm not there yet, but Addison, she-she believes in me in me in me in way that no one else ever has, and you know what? I wanna be that guy! Alex couldn't believe he had just said those words out loud. His face was on fire!

Meredith chose to ignore his obvious embarrassment. It would've been too easy to make a crack, and if she did she thought he might never open up to her again. "Alex I don't know what to say. That's great! I'm happy for you! Seriously!"

"Thanks, but you can't tell a soul. I don't want anyone to think I've gone soft."

"I don't think there's any danger of that with Addison in your life!"

He smiled. "You're probably right, but you still can't tell anyone. I've got a rep. to uphold ya know? And besides I don't wanna jinx things with her.

Meredith rolled her eyes, "Okay I won't say a word if you don't tell anyone about Christina. Deal?"

"Deal!"

Meredith glanced at her watch as she let the last bite of cheesecake melt in her mouth. 4:30, she hadn't meant to stay out so long! They had been gone for almost two hours! "Alex I really need to leave!"

She didn't have to explain. He knew she wanted to get back to Derek, "Yeah I suppose I should get back to work anyway.

"You mean you're supposed to be working right now?"

"Yeah, but O'Malley owed me one."

"Slacker."

"Shut up. You know you had a good time today."

"Okay I admit it, I did." They walked back to the hospital in the same comfortable silence they had become accustom to. When they reached Derek's door Meredith turned to Alex and pulled him into a friendly embrace. "Thank you for today. I didn't realize how much I needed it."

"You're welcome."

They held each other for a few minutes. Meredith liked the feelings of warmth and security, and Alex thought it felt kind of nice to be needed. That was another one of those things that he didn't think he would ever admit to anybody. Both of them flinched in surprise when the door opened. Alex shot Meredith a pained look when the short stocky African American woman who earned the nickname The Nazi walked out.

She went in there to check Derek's vitals. She had to see for herself that he was okay. She studied the two interns in front of her. Normally she would've reprimanded Alex for not working, but sometimes being there for a friend was the best job you could do. "Dr. Karev go find Dr. Montgomery. I'm sure she could use an extra pair of hands. Dr. Grey I need to talk to for a minute.

Meredith reluctantly let Alex go and turned to face her boss.

"Derek woke up about an hour ago. He seems to be doing well, but he was in a lot of pain, and not in a good mood. So George gave him 10 milligrams of morphine and now he's resting comfortably. We'll run some tests tomorrow. We're pretty backlogged downstairs and so far there doesn't seem to be anything to be too concerned about, but he doesn't remember the accident. "

Meredith stared at her with fire in her in eyes. It took all of her strength not to yell. Dr. Bailey why didn't you page me?

Bailey put a hand on her shoulder, "he didn't want you to be paged."

Her eyes narrowed. "What do you mean he didn't want me to be paged?"

"Dr O'Malley told him where you were, and that you'd been with him for the last two days, and I guess he figured you could use a break.

_He was so damn sweet sometimes. To damn sweet for his own good! _She stepped into the room carefully, not wanting to disturb him. The rise and fall of his chest was one of the most welcome sights in the world. She wiped a few tears away. Then she kicked off her shoes and crammed herself into the small space that was left on the bed, getting as close to him as she possibly could. Against her better judgment she kissed his lips. His response was immediate, and for that moment they were no longer in a hospital room. They were in a world all their own, everything just felt right.

As they broke apart she looked into his beautiful eyes and could not stop the tears from rolling down her face. "Oh Derek, I love you SO much!"

"Mer, I love you too! More than you could ever know!" He put his arm around her and smiled contently. Her head fell naturally to his chest. She was still crying. He could feel her tears. Whether they were out of happiness or not he wanted to do something to stop them. He hated it when she cried. So he said the first thing that came to his mind. "It's okay. I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere.

Just when she didn't think it was possible to love this man anymore he made it happen. As she looked up at him she noticed the tiredness that was etched in his features. "You should go back to sleep, "she whispered.

"I don't want to."

"Its okay. I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere." As the words left her mouth he closed his eyes and it wasn't long before his breathing became regular. She watched him sleep for what seemed like hours and eventually fell into a slumber of her own.


	5. Chapter 5

A/n Sorry this took me forever, literally. I hope it was worth the wait. I wish Mer and Cristina could've had a moment before the end but I didn't know where to fit it in; Epilogue to follow eventually, hopefully soonish. Enjoy

Meredith smiled to herself as she walked out of the morning chill and into the spacious ground level cabin she shared with Derek. She never though that she'd be living in a place like this, and she never thought she would like it, but yet here she was. It wasn't that she minded being surrounded by nature. She always thought it was really healthy to do that once in a while, but before she wanted to stay close to amenities and to the hospital, none of that seemed to matter very much anymore. _I guess traumatic events really do change people, _she mused silently. She commissioned the build shortly after Derek woke from his coma. It didn't matter that had to sell her mothers house and most of the belongings within. She wanted him to have a haven, and he'd always said he wanted to build a in the area that used to house the trailer. So this seemed like the perfect opportunity.

She brought Derek to the house the day he got out of rehab. The second he'd seen it he smiled in a way she hadn't seen in months, and it was all worthwhile. Of course it was only the beginning of a long road ahead but she knew they could make it through together. From that day he assumed financial responsibility for the house though Meredith insisted on contributing to the expenses. He had never asked her to move in. It was just something that happened. He would need help adjusting to his new life, and she wanted to spend as much time with him as possible anyway. In the days immediately following his accident she got a taste of life without him. Although living together was still a big step it didn't scare her the way it once would have. A thud coming from the bedroom pulled her from her reverie. "Honey do you need help?"

"No I'm good."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, as a former surgeon you'd think I'd be better at this coordination stuff. Apparently this morning not so much."

Meredith laughed. The whether was dreary and cold and she was still a bit chilled from her walk. It felt like a hot chocolate kind of day so she went to the cupboard and found the mix.

"Have you made coffee yet?"

"No I was just about to make hot chocolate. Do you want some of that instead?"

"Okay."

A few minutes later the kettle whistled. She poured a cup for herself and one for Derek. She sat at the table and began plopping marshmallows into the frothy brown liquid. It wasn't long before something caught her eye. It was an envelope with Mer scrawled on it. A shiver coursed through her as she felt a certain sense of a deja vu . She couldn't help but chuckle at his handwriting, which was even worse than the last time due to a slight tremor.

Thursday August 18th 2011

3:29 AM.

And so my darling it's been four years since our lives were forever changed. I had the dream again. You know the one with the deafening crunch and the blinding headlights; the one that used to cause me to wake up screaming in a cold sweat? Well this time it was different. This time it made me think of my blessings. I am so blessed because you're still with me. I've been through so much in the past year, and you stuck by me through it all. At times I think I was really undeserving of your love and support, but I'm really grateful for it. I know I wouldn't be where I am today without you. You were there for the surgeries, the rehab, the slipped catheters, the bowel blunders, and the worst of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. And yet somehow you still love me. On top of everything else we had to get creative to find ways to stimulate each other's anatomy. I'm so proud of you for taking all of this on and dealing with it with such grace! I'm proud of us for making it this far. If we can make it through all these challenges I'm positive that we can get through anything. I'm hoping that you feel the same way. Meredith Grey will you be my wife? (Nervously awaiting your answer.)

Love, Derek (your knight in shining whatever)

Meredith could not believe what she had just read, but she didn't have to think about her answer. She didn't notice Derek coming up behind her.

"So what do we need juju for today?"

"Oh I don't know I just felt like it. Seems appropriate given the day though doesn't it?"

He smiled, "I guess it does." Juju was something he'd held onto from his marriage to Addison. Hot chocolate became something of a good luck charm for them. They used to give it to each other on important days, before complicated surgeries or after they had patients die.

Meredith stood up to move a chair for him, but before she could he put his arms around her and pulled her down so that she was sitting on his lap, and suddenly the hot chocolate was no longer important. With the addition of her weight his ultra light wheelchair rolled backwards a bit.

She giggled and said, "next time you do that put your brakes on or I'm gonna fall on my ass."

"Point taken."

"Did you read the note yet?"

"I did."

"And?"

"Of course I'll marry you Derek Christopher Shepherd," Once those words came out she was unable to hold back the tears of joy.

Derek made no attempt to blink back the tears that sprang to his own eyes. "Thank you Meredith Elizabeth Grey, for making me the happiest man in the world!" And then she kissed him with an undeniable hunger. It was unbelievably hard to pull away from her, but he forced himself to do it. "Mmm hold that thought."

He reached behind him and into his backpack feeling around until he came to a small velvet box. He pulled it out opened it and waited for Meredith to appraise what was inside. It was a 14 karat yellow gold band. At it's center was a lavender colored gem stone with two small diamonds on either side. It wasn't a very big stone, but this was Meredith. She didn't do flashy. The engraving on the ring read "The love of my life."

"Oh Der it's beautiful!"

"I'm glad you like it"

As he placed the ring on her finger she noticed his hand was shaking more than usual.

"Were you really nervous?"

"Well I already told you I wanted this once and you rejected me."

She remembered the meeting by the elevator. "_I want to marry you. I want to have kids with you. I want to build us a house. I want to settle down and grow old with you. I want to die when I'm 110 years old, in your arms. I don't want 48 uninterrupted hours. I want a lifetime..."_ She had wanted all those things too. In fact she had wanted them so much it made her heart ache, but in that moment all those beautiful words terrified her. He was right when he said that she was just an intern. She needed to work through her issues before she could love him in the way he deserved.

"Derek I was a different person then. You were too. So much has changed."

" I know that, but it was still in the back of my mind" He paused for moment. Meredith could tell he was trying to organize his thoughts." I had other reasons to be nervous too. When I saw that x-ray I thought my life was over. It was there in black and white, a complete C-7 injury. I would never be able to operate again. I didn't know who I was anymore. But you helped me find myself. You gave me back my faith. I couldn't bear the thought of losing you now."

"Well you sure know how to make a girl feel special. You get brownie points for that, but seriously you need to give yourself more credit. You've been so strong throughout all this. And you don't have to worry about losing me," She paused and studied the ring he had just put on her left hand then looked up him beaming. "I'm yours forever, and now I even have the ring to prove it."

He chuckled in response, his eyes dancing with delight. He felt around in his backpack again and pulled out another small box. "Hey speaking of rings can you help me put this on?"

Inside was a band that matched hers. Confusion was evident on her face as she read the letters "P.K.I.S.W." She pondered their meaning while she helped him straighten out his ring finger and slipped the piece of jewelry on. "I don't get it, She said finally.

He grinned. "Proud knight in shining whatever wouldn't fit.

"Ah I should've guessed.

Meredith leaned into him and he put his arms around her "God I love you".

"I love you too."

Both of them were completely content in that moment, just loving the feeling of being close to each other. Their bliss was interrupted by the familiar sound of a pager.

"I should check that."

"You should," Derek agreed, but she made no attempt to get up. Instead she kissed him with a force he wasn't expecting. Soon her tongue was demanding entry into his mouth. Of course he didn't make her wait long.

She had explored every inch of his mouth many times before, and yet somehow it felt knew to her. She was enjoying it. She felt a rush when a groan escaped from the back of his throat. Apparently she wasn't the only one who was having fun. She deepened the kiss.

A few seconds later he pulled away struggling to catch his breath, "I really like where this is going, but you really should check that."

"Okay, she said flatly, reluctantly extricating herself from his arms.

"Shit! It's a 911! I should call the hospital."

As she went in search of the phone Derek's lips turned upward. He couldn't help but smile to himself. His plan was coming together perfectly. He grabbed his cell from his bag and dialed a number that had been committed to memory over the last three years. He was surprised when a male voice greeted him on the other end of the line. The voice was extremely familiar, but it took him a second to place it.

"Mark? Did I dial the wrong number?

"No, Izzie's right here Derek. Just a sec."

Hey, did Meredith say yes?"

"She did."

"Congrats bro, just don't screw it up this time."

Even though Derek knew the action couldn't be seen he rolled his eyes at the comment. "Ahem, if my memory serves me correctly you had a part in that too."

"Details, details"

"As much as I would love to rehash the past with you, there was a purpose to this phone call. Will you put Izzie on please?"

There was some whispered conversation and then he heard an unmistakable giggle. "What's so funny?"

"Oh nothing, I hear she said yes."

"Uh huh."

"Derek that's SO great. I'm really happy for both of you! I hope Mer let's me help plan the wedding!"

Thanks Iz, but I really don't think much planning will be necessary. She's not really a lavish kind of girl.

"You might be surprised Der. Oh this is so exciting!"

Her child like enthusiasm amused him, but his amusement turned to dismay when he heard Mark in the background.

"I'm getting excited about something else."

Izzie covered the receiver with her hand, but her voice was still loud enough for Derek to hear. "Mark stop it," and then she could no longer hold back her laughter.

"Isobel Stevens are you having sex with Mark while you're on the phone with me?"

"Maybe."

"Izzie that is so disgusting. It's nasty there goes my image of you."

"Hey watch what you say Shep, or I might not cook for you guys tonight."

"Okay I'll be good."

"You better! I'll let everyone else know and we'll be over in a few hours."

"Thanks, you're the best!"

"I try."

"Just didn't think you were Sloan's type. Thought you were better than that."

"Derek!"

"Oops did I say that out loud."

"Der seriously!" and then a lustful moan escaped her lips though she tried her best to stop it.

"Okay, okay. I'm hanging up now before I say something I'll really regret." He was rather impressed with himself because he was able to bite back comments about how truly nauseated he was at the moment, "bye."

"Bye."

Meredith found Derek in the bathroom splashing cold water on his face. The 911 was under control. She wasn't needed.

"Are you okay?" she asked concerned.

He smiled, "Yeah, just trying to clear my head." From the look on her face it was obvious that was not convinced.

"I'm fine really. I was just talking to Izzie and she was fooling around with Sloan while we were on the phone. It was nasty. I was just trying to erase the mental pictures."

Meredith's face contorted until it looked like she was in pain, "Oh that is nasty." It wasn't that Mark and Izzie wouldn't look good together. They would be beyond hot, and they definitely had the potential to make beautiful babies but to Meredith and Derek both of them were family. That's what made the thought of the two of them making love so repulsive. Do you think they're serious?"

Derek smirked, "is Mark ever serious?"

"Yeah you're right, stupid question. I just hope Izzie doesn't get hurt. She's not a meaningless sex kind of person.

"I know I'll talk to him."

"Good, but right now let me help you forget about them," she said seductively.

Derek didn't protest as she lifted him out of his chair and carried him to the bedroom. Though she was petite in stature there was a lot of strength within that tiny frame. It was one of the many surprising things he'd learned about her over the past three years. His attention was drawn away from his thoughts when Meredith's lips lightly grazed his own. They barley touched and yet she managed to light a fire within his veins. This was nothing new. It happened all the time, but that didn't mean it was any less amazing. Soon the capability to think was lost and all that existed was the feeling of his skin against hers. She knew all the right ways to tease and caress him. Soon he shuddered against her screaming her name in ecstasy. She came shortly after. Then they just lay there entangled with each other, bodies glistening with sweat; listening as their erratic breathing and heartbeats began to normalize.

Meredith sighed completely content. Maybe blissful was a better word. This had always been her favorite part of the sexual experience with Derek. It wasn't that she was under stimulated. That certainly wasn't the case. Derek was an expert at satisfying her needs. Even after his accident it hadn't taken all that long to adjust and find new ways to please her. But in the moment after Meredith always felt safer than she ever had. She could never fully explain it, but it was a great feeling, far better than the buzz from any surgery. She wished that everyone had the opportunity to feel what she felt in moments like that

Derek was the first to break the silence, "God Mer you're so incredible!"

She giggled. "You're not half bad yourself."

"Thanks."

Before he could say anything else she kissed him. "I love you."

He smiled, "I never get tired of hearing you say that. I love you too." He rolled onto his side and pulled her close. The familiar scent of lavender entered his nostrils. He inhaled deeply and she snuggled even closer to him, and in a matter of minutes they were sleeping peacefully in each other's arms.

Derek awoke about two hours later. He grinned to himself as he gazed at the alarm clock. He loved waking up this close to Meredith. His grin grew wider when he glanced at the ring on her finger and realized he would be waking up this way for many years to come. He hated to interrupt her sleep. She looked so relaxed, but it was almost 2:30. Everyone would be there soon .He kissed her. It was soft and quick, like a habit; like he would do it for the rest of his life. He remembered using those words As he pulled back her eyes were starting to flutter open.

"Hey, how was your sleep?"

She sighed contentedly, "Amazing."

"Good."

"Shouldn't you be in class?"

This casual question brought mixed emotions to Derek's heart. For a long time after the accident he'd been bitter and depressed because of what he'd lost. Finally with the help of his loved ones and a psychiatrist he was able to break through the pain. Although some days were still harder than others there were more good than bad. After coming to terms with his disability he became frustrated with his lack of purpose in life. Eventually this led Richard to suggest the possibility of a teaching job. Derek never saw himself as a professor. He didn't think he would be any good at it, but Richard Webber was never one to give up easily. So Derek agreed to take a job at the university of Washington. For the last year he had been teaching Introductory Neuroanatomy. Professors were also required to research in their field. It had been nice to dive back into Neurology, but it was hard at first. That could not be denied. It brought so many memories to the surface. He didn't feel the same passion for the job as he did for surgery, yet he did truly enjoy it. He hoped he could inspire his students the same way Richard inspired him.

"Derek?"

He flinched at the sound of Meredith's voice. "Sorry I was somewhere else. I took the day off, but you should get ready."

She looked at him incredulously," Ready for what?"

"Everyone will be here soon. It's just a dinner thing; Izzie's cooking.

"Wait a minute! So you planned this whole thing? There was no 911 was there?

Derek moved into a sitting position, tilted his head in that special way and smiled that famous smile. "No there wasn't, and yes I did plan to propose today. I really wanted to turn this day into something positive, for both of us. Oh and just for the record I didn't know how I was gonna do it. The note was completely spontaneous."

"Okay, I get that, but why did you have to invite people over? "She whined. Her pouty facial expression matched her tone of voice. "I think today should just be about us, and besides I have nothing to wear."

Derek fought the urge to smirk. He took her hand and pulled her up so that he could look into her eyes. His face was mere inches from hers and when he spoke his voice was just above a whisper. "Today's a milestone in both our lives. Is it so wrong to want to celebrate with people we love?"

"I guess not, but I still have nothing to wear."

"Mer you know you always look beautiful to me, and you don't need to impress anyone else. They love you almost as much as I do."

"But Der it's a special occasion I want to look nice."

He could see that she wasn't going to relent on this. Derek cared about his looks. His status as a metrosexual could not be disputed, but he knew giving a woman fashion advice was dangerous territory. It was something he rarely did. Suddenly though inspiration struck him. "Well then can I make a suggestion?"

"Okay."

"Why don't you wear the dress you were wearing on the night we met and I'll wear my good looking red shirt and we can take advantage of each other later?"

She thought about it for a moment and then her lips curved upward, "Ya know Shepherd I like the way your mind works."

She didn't give him a chance to respond. She just headed towards the shower. It was her place to think. It was calm and peaceful. There was nothing but the hot water. The sound of it cascading down into the drain was almost as soothing as the warmth it provided to her muscles, which were usually sore from working long hours. With her mind and body relaxed her thoughts would take her on random and surprising journeys, and sometimes if she was lucky the outcome would be useful.

First she was taken back to that fateful night four years ago. Though Derek often told her that he believed things turned out the way they were supposed to a small part of her still wished that the accident hadn't happened. That she hadn't gotten so mad at him, and they would have just talked it out. For a second she wondered what there lives would be like if she hadn't given him a reason to leave that night. She knew Derek would freak out if he knew she still had thoughts like that. She was truly happy she really was, especially given the events of the day, but she couldn't completely change her nature. So sometimes dark and twisty thoughts just snuck up on her. As she relived the memories of that night the emotion felt raw and new. A few tears escaped from her eyelids as she began to message lavender conditioner into her scalp, but the steady stream of water washed them away almost instantly. The pain didn't last much longer as those images of the past were soon replaced by what was yet to come.

_She saw the two of them curled up on the couch in front of the TV, but something was different. Someone sat between them; a young child that was about 4 or 5 years old. Black ringlets flowed down her back unkempt The little one stared up at them with a sense of wonderment, and when she looked back at her Meredith felt as if she was looking into her own eyes. "Mommy can we watch Enchanted?" she asked. Meredith had seen the movie countless times, and definitely did not want to see again, but she was giving her a look. The same one she found so hard to resist from Derek. She was undoubtedly her father's child._

"_It's okay with me if it's ok with your Dad."_

"_Daddy can we please?"_

_Derek shared a knowing glance with his wife before giving his attention to his daughter. He smiled and said "Sure Princess."_

_Meredith was about to get up to put the movie in but Derek stopped her, "It's okay hun I got it."_

"_Are you sure?"_

"_Yeah, I gotta visit the little boys room anyway." Derek transferred to his chair with an ease that came from years of practice, put the disc into the player and waited for it to load, then left the room. _

_By the time he got back the soon-to-be princess Giselle had already been exiled from Andalasia by the evil Queen Nerissa. Robert was about to catch her as she fell from the billboard. Derek averted his eyes from the screen in effort to concentrate on transferring back to the couch. The extra concentration didn't help him much though because he missed his target and landed on the floor. He was a pro at all that came with having a disability now, but sometimes that coordination stuff still got the better of him._

_A giggle came from behind him, "Daddy's a klutz."_

_Derek turned to the child that had melted his heart from the second he saw her with a look of utter seriousness on his face and said, "It takes one to know one." _

_In response the little girl simply stuck her tongue out. Now it was Meredith's turn to giggle. Derek quickly settled himself on the couch and silence fell over the small family as they became absorbed in the fairytale playing out before them. The silence was short lived. It lasted only until Robert became upset with Giselle for making a dress out of his living room curtains. The comment came from the youngest Shepherd, "Giselle is so pretty!"_

_Derek tuned toward her and said, "She's not as pretty as you Allie"_

"_You're just saying that because you're my Dad."_

"_No I'm not it's true!"_

"_Is not." _

"_Is too!"_

"_Is not!"_

"_Okay I'm gonna tickle you until you change your mind. Mom help out here, and then laughter rang throughout the house._

"_Okay, okay, you guys win. Giselle isn't as pretty as me."_

Meredith smiled at the scenario. She always knew Derek would be a great Dad. This glimpse into the future made her realize that something would be missing in both of their lives if they didn't have a child. The thought of having kids had always terrified her. She hadn't the best examples to follow but if Alex could be a parent she could too, right? He and Addison began the adoption process about a year and a half ago. Granted they didn't have a child yet, still he'd been confident enough to take the first step. Alex always made her think that screwed up people had a chance.

She'd hardly had time to process those thoughts before another image filled her mind_. She saw herself with Derek. They were holding each other and watching a beautiful sunset in the back yard. His hair had long since turned gray and there were more than a few gray strands within her blonde locks. Their eyes held more wisdom, and their was no hiding the laugh lines and crows feet that had become much more prominent on both their faces. Despite the passage of many years it was obvious they were still completely in love. Derek pulled her even closer to him and breathed in her scent exactly the same way he always had_

"_I love you."_

_Derek smiled. "I never get tired of hearing you say that."_

_Seconds later she felt his lips on hers. _

She was brought back to reality when the water started to run cold. As she stepped out of the shower the last images stayed with her. They gave her confidence that she and Derek really would spend the rest of their lives together.

When she walked into the bedroom she noticed that her fiancée had fallen asleep. He looked calm and content She decided not to wake him until after she got dressed She rummaged though a drawer until she found a black lacy bra and matching panties. Once the "unmentionables" were in place she pulled the dress out of the closet and slipped it on. In that moment she was thankful for small build. The dress still fit, and she had to admit it looked pretty decent. She would have to wait for Derek to help her zip it up. He was still dead to the world so she went in search of the strappy sandals she wore with it to complete the nostalgic look. Of course they were in a box on the top shelf of the closet shoved towards the back. She stood on her tiptoes and reached as high and far as she could. It took several attempts to get the box to the edge of the shelf. When she tried to grab it she lost her balance. As she steadied herself the box teetered for a second and then hit the floor. The noise caused Derek to groan and stir. She was pretty sure he was awake now.

"Hey sleepy head."

"Hey yourself," he said, his voice momentarily hoarse.

"You should get ready."

He smiled at the reversal of the conversation they had earlier. He only hesitated for a minute to take in her appearance. His eyes roamed her body appreciatively. As she looked up from putting on her shoes she caught his expression in the mirror and blushed. His heart fluttered at the realization that a simple look could still have such an effect on her.

"You look gorgeous." He wanted to come up with a better word, but the fog of sleep hadn't quite cleared away yet so it was the best he could do. Their eyes locked until he broke contact to look for his boxers. He finally spotted then on the floor beside the bed, the memory of the intimate wear being discarded seeping into his consciousness. He couldn't stop himself from smiling again as he grabbed them and slid them on easily.

"Thanks"

As he transferred to his chair Meredith dusted her cheeks with blush. By the time he located his red shirt and a pair of black pants she had already applied a clear lip-gloss, a brown eye shadow that helped to intensify her green irises, and was in the process of applying mascara. "You know you really don't need all that stuff."

"I know but it's nice to go all out once in a while. It helps a girl feel pretty."

Derek nodded, "Okay, but just so you know you're more than pretty without the make up."

She didn't respond verbally. She didn't have to. Her smile said it all. It met her eyes and they sparkled.

He tossed his pants onto the bed before transferring back into it so he could put them on. He pulled them up without much effort but struggled for some time with the zipper. Eventually he was triumphant. He put the shirt on in no time at, but didn't even attempt to button it up. He knew he would need Meredith's help for that. He saw that she was busy adding the finishing touches to her look so he used the time to wash and mousse his hair. While in the bathroom he sprayed himself generously with Dolce & Gabbana cologne.

When he reentered the bedroom Meredith was brushing her hair, the dampness from the shower bringing out her natural wave causing it to curl at the ends. She was about to pull it back when he made his presence known. "I think you should leave it down. It's very sexy."

"You think?"

He moved closer to her, "I do." He didn't fail to take notice of the small golden hoops in her ears or the familiar locket that hung around her neck.

"Okay I'll leave it down."

She walked over to him and positioned herself in his lap. "Mmm you smell good."

"You do too." The lavender scent he'd come to associate with her was stronger than ever.

She giggled, "You always say that."

"That's because it's always true, he said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

This time she flat out laughed at his serious tone.

"Random question."

"What?"

"Do I need to shave?" Shaving was another thing that he needed help with. Razor blades and shaky hands were not a good combination.

She gently pressed her lips against his, this time acutely aware of the stubble against her skin tickling her.

All to soon she pulled away and leaned into his chest. After sighing contentedly she said, "No I don't think you should. I like your stubble. It's very sexy."

He laughed. "Okay I won't."

"I love you.

"I love you too."

Meredith reluctantly slid off his lap and stood to button his shirt. As she began she wanted so badly to leave a trail of kisses down his chest. However while she contemplated the doorbell rang. The taking advantage would have to wait. When she was done she turned around. "Can you zip me up?"

"I don't know. Zippers dislike me lately, but I can try." He was successful on the third attempt.

By the time the two of them emerged from the bedroom everyone had already let themselves in. Izzie was setting the table, which was now covered by a mauve linen tablecloth. Green candles were at it center. Alex and Addison shared the recliner in the living room. It seemed as if they were trying to agree on something to watch on TV. Cristina appeared to be in search of liquor, as she was rummaging through cupboards. Preston Burke sat on a kitchen chair absently staring out the window George and Callie were sitting on the couch talking animatedly about a surgery. Mark was at the kitchen counter pretending to be occupied with last minute food preparation, but it didn't take long to figure out he was more interested in the blonde who stood a few feet away from him than in the evening meal.

Meredith strode over to Mark, Derek not far behind her.

"Hey Mark."

"Hey Meredith." He quickly averted his gaze from Izzie and surveyed the engagement ring on her Meredith's left hand. He was reminded of the day he helped Derek pick out Addison's ring. It was a good memory, but it brought some not so good memories to the surface; like the look on his best friends face on the night that he and Addison were caught in bed together. It was a combination of horror and sadness. Something he wished he could forget. Then there was the day that Addison told him he would be a terrible father and she didn't want to have his baby. That hurt more than he thought possible. Forcing those thoughts out of his mind he cleared his throat and said, "Well I guess it's official. You're no longer a dirty mistress."

"Don't worry, I'll always have a soft spot for my favorite cofounder."

Mark chuckled. "She's a keeper Shep. You did good!"

"I know," he paused, "Mark do you wanna come outside with me?"

Mark followed wordlessly as Derek made his way to the back door. The spacious patio was surrounded by trees and grass on all sides, which made for a spectacular view. Mark moved a chair from the large patio set for Derek before making himself comfortable. "What's up buddy?"

"Nothing really. With our anniversary being yesterday and the proposal today I've been doing the romantic thing for a while and I just needed a break."

"I don't know how helpful I'll be to you. I'm kinda stuck on a certain someone."

Derek raised an eyebrow, "Izzie?"

"Yeah. I've been spending a lot of time with her for the last couple months."

"Spending time huh?

Mark knew what his best friend was thinking. "No it's not like that. I mean don't get me wrong the sex is, well mind blowing, but I enjoy being with her. She makes me laugh, and she keeps me in line. Seriously if she doesn't like something I'm doing she'll call me on it. You know I wouldn't take that from many people, but I wanna be someone who deserves her. You'd think her bubbly enthusiastic personality would annoy me but it actually attracts me to her. I think she balances me out or something. When she's completely relaxed she has this, this inner glow, it's amazing! Anyway I haven't felt this way since, since…" he trailed off.

"Addison?"

"Yeah," he admitted quietly.

"Well I'm glad you're happy. You deserve it man"

"Thanks. Congrats again on the engagement."

"Thanks."

Mark stood and wrapped an arm around Derek pulling him close. As he released his hold on the man who was like a brother to him something glinted in the sun. On closer inspection he realized it was an engagement band. "What does this mean?"

Derek knew that he was referring to the engraving, "Proud knight in shining whatever."

Mark rolled his eyes. "God Derek you're more of a sap than you ever were."

Without hesitation Derek said, "Yeah well love does that to you."

Mark wanted to come up with a biting comeback. Instead his thoughts turned back to the young resident that had infuriated him as an intern because she refused to be his slave and do things like getting him Bone Dry cappuccinos. Nothing much had changed in that department. She still refused to do his non-surgical bidding at work, but now he found her insolence less infuriating and more endearing. He wasn't about to tell her that though. It would ruin the fun of the stand offs in the halls. He sighed breaking the peaceful silence. "We should probably go in."

"Yeah"

Derek was inches from the door when it swung open revealing his fiancée. The word replayed in his mind a few times. The idea that she'd said yes was still kind of unbelievable. He waited so long for this day and now it was finally here. There were so many times when he thought he lost her for good. _I've failed her over and over again. _Somehow though she was standing in front of him wearing the engagement ring he spent hours picking out. His dream was coming true. One day soon she would be his wife. With a glance at each other an unspoken understanding passed between them. Mark and Izzie were in love, even if they hadn't exactly said those words.

"I was just about to come get you guys. Izzie wants everyone to eat before it gets cold."

"Perfect timing then."

Meredith smiled. "Uh huh."

Derek made his way in, Mark right behind him.

"You two nauseate me."

Derek looked up at Mark. "Payback's a bitch."

"Excuse me?"

"This morning."

"It's not like I'm the only one who got some. I can tell you guys fed the beast

Meredith blushed.

"Yeah well at least we didn't share our experience with you."

"I guess I have to give you that."

Derek smirked at Mark before taking in his surroundings. The house was dark except for the glow from the candles on the kitchen table and there were place cards with each of their names written in silver stood beside each setting. Everyone else was already seated. The room was silent. It was as if they were waiting for the guests of honor to join them. Derek parked in his assigned space as Meredith and Mark sat down on either side of him, Mark to his left and Meredith to the right. Two huge pans of Chicken Fettuccini Alfredo occupied the space next to the candles. Next to the pasta was a basket filled homemade garlic toast. Even further to the right there was a bottle of champagne. "Wow Iz, I think you've outdone yourself! The ambiance is perfect and the food looks and smells delicious."

"Thanks Derek, but Mark deserves some of the credit too."

Meredith turned towards Mark raised an eyebrow and said what most of the others were thinking. "Since when do you cook?"

"Well I'm new to kitchen, but I'm learning." He paused, looked towards Izzie and then added, "I kinda like it when a woman gives me orders," his voice taking on a seductive tone.

Izzie felt her cheeks grow hot and she knew she was turning redder by the second. She wanted to say something clever to put the plastic surgeon in his place but she found herself speechless. So she jabbed him in the ribs.

"Ow! That hurt!"

Cristina put down the glass of tequila she'd been nursing. "Way to go Barbie. I'm impressed!"

"See? It wasn't all talk. I really am ghetto fabulous!" She beamed. Drunken sex with George and a lot of over analyzing led Izzie to the conclusion that she had feelings for the youngest O'Malley. George being the good guy that he is was incapable of keeping their intimate encounter from his wife for too long. When Callie approached the younger surgeon wanting to clear the air the reason for wanting to meet in the cafeteria was misinterpreted. While Callie wanted to talk Izzie assumed the altercation would be a physical fight for George's affection. They eventually worked through the bitterness and tension that Izzie's feelings caused and became tolerant of each other. In time Izzie realized what she felt wasn't really love and she and George were able to rekindle the great friendship they had come so close to losing. The comment about being ghetto fabulous just sort of came out.

A snort came from the opposite end of the table.

"What? I coudda taken you!"

"Yeah right!"

Mark felt the need to defend his girlfriend. "I have to side with Dr. Steven's on this one. She's stronger than you might think." He wasn't lying. Just because her looks helped her pay for med school it didn't mean she wasn't tough. She could definitely hold her own in fight. Her arms and legs were well toned and muscular. She had it all, brains, brawn and beauty.

:"Thanks Mark."

He leaned close to her and whispered, "I got your back, even if you did hurt me."

She giggled. "I'll kiss it better later. If you're good I'll do more than that."

"Well that's no easy task for a guy like me, but you're worth it."

Izzie smiled. "That is SO true. You're a smart man Dr. Sloan."

"I know. I'm also pretty damn lucky" Without thinking he cupped her face in his hands and tenderly touched her lips with his.

Izzie broke the kiss and pulled away. The look in her eyes said she felt the same.

While most of the table was surprised by this public display of affection Alex just wanted to stop it. He did not need to see this turn into a make out session between Izzie and McSteamy. That would make him lose his appetite. He was entertained by the little argument between her and Callie, so he decided to add some fuel to the fire. "My money's on O'Malley." With those four words he had all of her attention.

"What? How could you? After all I've done for you. YOU TRAITOR!

"Sorry Iz, but part of her job is to break peoples bones. She could probably hit you where it hurts."

The Latin American woman smiled, obviously pleased with Alex's response.

"Thank you Dr. Karev. I like your logic."

"I'm just tellin' it they way I see it."

Cristina spoke up again, "As much as I hate to admit this I think you're wrong Evil Spawn. Callie might have beneficial medical knowledge, but Izzie has passion, and she usually doesn't give up until she gets what she wants. She can be annoying as hell once she finds a worthy case, cause or project because she just won't stop talking about it until she suckers you in, but I gotta give her credit for commitment."

"Thank you Cristina. I'm just gonna ignore the annoying as hell part."

"You do that. You always were the vice president of Fantasyland."

"I kinda wish there would've been a fight," George said absently. "It would've been hot!"

"Seriously George!" Callie said in an irritated tone, "

Addison cleared her throat. "Might I remind you that we're here to celebrate Meredith and Derek's engagement, and while you squabble like kids on a playground the wonderful dinner before us is getting cold!"

The conversation died with her words and for some time the only sound in the room was that of the food being passed around the table.

Derek smiled as he looked at Addison, who was seated directly across from him. Leave it to her to take charge. Their relationship had come so far. He could tell she was genuinely happy about the engagement, and he was happy that she'd found Alex. There was no doubt she was in love with the aspiring neonatal surgeon. Derek could tell by the way she looked at him. It was a look he'd seen many times over their 11 years of marriage, but he wasn't at all jealous. She deserved to love and be loved again; to feel the way Meredith made him feel, like the most important person in the world, complete, whole. Tonight there was something else in her eyes besides "the look of love." It could only be described as childlike excitement or enthusiasm. Before he could question her Izzie spoke.

"So Mer how did Derek propose?"

"With a note, she said, smiling as she remembered the words he'd written.

Izzie looked at Meredith skeptically, but didn't say anything.

"I know it's not typical but I thought it was romantic. We kind of have a history with notes."

Izzie smiled, "Well as long as was meaningful to you that's all that matters."

Those words may have seemed patronizing to some but Meredith could tell she was being sincere.

"Can I see the ring?"

"Sure." She couldn't stop herself from gazing at it dreamily for a moment before slipping it off and passing it to Izzie.

Meredith glanced at Derek, and when she did she noticed Addison was looking at him with an intense gaze. It was almost as if she was searching for something. Finally she broke eye contact with her ex husband and said what was on her mind.

"You seriously proposed with a note?"

"I just wanted everything to be perfect okay?" His cheeks began to turn crimson.

Addison knew he was remembering the day he proposed to her. "It's okay Derek. The fact that you dropped the ring in my food and stuttered when you asked me only told me how much it meant to you. How much I meant to you."

"Addie had that effect on him from day one. It took him about three months to get the nerve to ask her out, and he had to change his shirt three times before their first date because of sweat stains."

Derek glared at Mark and his cheeks became a deeper shade of red, but he kept his mouth shut. If he said anything it would only cause his brother to taunt him further.

Alex and Cristina were unable to stifle their laughter at the idea of their former boss being so intimidated by a woman. Izzie looked at him sympathetically and jabbed Mark in the ribs for the second time that evening. Preston, who hadn't said anything all night, seemed to be miles away. The O'Malley's hadn't been paying attention to the conversation, as they were engrossed in a heated game of footsie under the table. Derek felt Meredith squeeze his hand supportively. He turned his attention away from what was going on around him and back to her. He cleared his throat.

"Can I have everyone's attention please? I'd like to propose a toast to my beautiful fiancée. Meredith. He held her hand tighter, looked into her eyes hoping to convey all of the things he felt but couldn't say with words. They were lost each other for an indefinite period. Neither of them could gauge how long it was. It felt like forever, but in reality it could have been a few minutes. Finally Derek found his voice. "I was drawn to you from the night we met. You had this unexplainable magnetism. I needed to be near you. For a long time I tried to fight that force. I was trying to be the good guy, and do the right thing, but I only ended up hurting the people I love and myself. It took me a long time, but I finally got it right. I picked you. I chose you. I love you, and I always will."

Meredith's eyes glistened as she said "I love you too Derek always."

"I know." His voice was thick with emotion. He paused to avoid a complete breakdown in front of everyone. "Without your love I would be so lost. You tell me that I'm strong. Part of the reason for that is because I know I don't have to face each day alone. After all the times I hurt you," when he said these words a few tears escaped from his eyelids. Meredith brushed them with her thumb. He took another moment to regain his composure, "and all the hardships we've been through I think it's miraculous that you're still with me. We're stronger than we ever have been right now; and I intend to do everything in my power to keep it that way. I won't go so far as to say that I'm thankful for my accident, but it's made me a better man. It's shown me that I was taking the important things in life for granted. I won't do that anymore and you my dear are definitely the most important person in my life. I hope you know that! I'm human so mistakes are inevitable, but I'm gonna do my best to show you how important you are each and every day of my life. I'm SO happy that you've given me the chance to spend those days with you!" He then raised his glass, "to Meredith!"

Everyone followed suit and clinked their glasses, "To Meredith!"

Izzie sniffed, "That was beautiful Derek."

"It really was," Addison agreed.

"It was very McDreamy," Callie added.

"More like sickeningly sweet," Derek laughed, he knew that those words were the closest thing he was going to get to a compliment from Cristina Yang.

He shrugged nonchalantly, "Thank you ladies."

All the males at the table remained quiet with the exception of Preston who had finally found his way out of what Derek had assumed was a jet lagged trance. "That was well said for a self proclaimed bad communicator"

"Yeah well I'm working on it."

Preston smiled and nodded.

The one who mattered most hadn't said anything yet, but Derek could tell his words had the desired effect because the mascara she applied so carefully earlier was now running down her face.

He began to rub her back. "I know those are happy tears, but no more. You know what it does to me when you cry." He still couldn't comprehend how he'd been able to stay so angry with her on the night of his accident over something so stupid.

"Well maybe if you hadn't gotten so emotional I wouldn't be,"

"What am I getting myself into?" he teased

Meredith stood and excused herself to go freshen up. While she was gone the conversation turned to more mundane things. Derek quickly grew bored of the latest gossip from Grace and decided to change the subject. It wasn't like he'd be out of the loop for long anyway with Meredith around.

"So Preston how was your trip? He and Cristina had agreed to take yearly vacations to celebrate their anniversary instead of buying each other gifts to take the pressure off. They had taken this year's early because of schedule conflics

He smiled. "It was great!"

Cristina smirked, "You would say that."

"What? It was!"

"It would have been if you hadn't insisted on doing so many tourist-y things."

"But we were tourists."

"Yeah, but anniversary trips are supposed to be about romantic crap and sex."

Burke's cheeks redden slightly but he surprised everyone and responded. "We did that too!"

"Not enough."

"Oh so that's why you've been so bitchy at work," Alex interjected.

"Whatever Karev, I'm always bitchy."

"Yeah well lately you've been extra bitchy. You practically bit an interns head off for no good reason yesterday."

"Oh shut up. You know interns are useless anyway."

Derek laughed to himself. Who was he kidding? These people were surgeons, everything related back to work. He didn't miss that aspect of his old job. Thankfully the conversation ended as Meredith sauntered into the room, before it could turn into an argument. "Hey hun."

"Hey."

When she sat down she noticed her ring had safely made its way back to her spot. She stole a quick glance at it before asking Derek to slide it onto her finger again just because she could.

"It passes inspection by all the girls, Izzie said brightly. "We think its very you."

Meredith giggled. "I agree. She paused for a moment and then said, "Can I have everyone's attention please? I'd like to propose a toast to Derek. I'm not as good with words as you are and I don't wanna cry again, so I'm gonna make this quick. I know you've wanted this for a long time. I wanted it too! I did, I just needed time to figure some stuff out. Thanks for being there, and for loving me enough to be patient. I know you don't think you deserve that credit because there were times in the past that you walked away. That hurt at the time, but unlike a lot of people I cared about you came back and stayed. I love you." She raised her glass and everyone did the same, to Derek!"

Derek couldn't find the right words. Instead he responded with a kiss hoping it would convey all he felt. As they parted Meredith smiled broadly.

Mark broke the silence. "You still got it."

"What?"

"The same charm you had in college. You were so shy and awkward, but all the girls thought you were so damn sweet. It's obvious Grey's under your spell after that speech.

"I was sweet. I still am."

Much to Derek's chagrin Mark began regaling everyone with their misadventures in med school. Before long Addison joined in the fun.

A few hours later George looked at his watch, "Callie, we should go. We have an early shift."

As realization of the late hour set in the house started to clear out, but not before congratulations was heard many more times.

"So when are you telling Mom?" Mark asked as he stood just outside the front door.

"Soon, I wanted to give Mer some time to get used to the idea of being engaged before the Shepherd invasion"

He laughed, "that's understandable. See you soon man!"

"Yeah."

Alex and Addison were the last to leave. When everyone else was gone Derek thought it would be a good time to confront her, "Will you tell me what's up?"

"What do you mean?"

"Addie we were married for 11 years. I can still read you. I know you're extremely excited about something."

Addison glanced at Alex, then hesitated, "Well we don't want to steal your thunder or jinx it."

"Don't be ridiculous!" Derek admonished.

She squeezed Alex's hand for support. "Our adoption papers came through fast because I have some connections, and today we met with April, a 17 year old who realizes she won't be able to give her baby everything she needs. April is 5 months, and she thinks we would be the perfect parents She wants us to be there for the birth and everything!"

"Addison that's AMAZING! Get over here and give me a hug. I'm SO happy for you! I know how long you've wanted this. "

At the same time Meredith congratulated Alex. "I can't believe you're gonna be a Dad!"

He grinned. "Neither can I!

"You'll be great!"

"I hope so.

"No seriously you will."

"Well I did have an awesome example of what not to do!"

"That's the spirit!" she said giggling as she gave him a shot in the arm before pulling him close.

Derek was surprised to see tears in Addison's eyes as he pulled away from her.

"Do you wanna go outside?" he asked gently.

She nodded.

Those aren't tears of joy are they?

"I don't know Derek. I'm happy, I really am! But what if I'm kidding myself? What if I can't balance my career, my relationship with Alex and a child? I mean look at Miranda and Tucker. Their marriage fell apart and Will spends most of his time with babysitters. On top of all that I'm not young anymore."

"Age is just a number. I know that's cliché, but it's true; and you are not Miranda. You'll find a way to balance it all because you don't give up until you get what you want! I know you won take the opportunity to be a Mom for granted because it didn't come easy! And one more thing, you're not alone. You have Alex and all of your friends to support you!"

"Thanks Derek."

"No problem. It was my turn."

She smiled, "What?"

"You're usually the one putting things in perspective for me."

"Someone's gotta do it. You may not be a surgeon anymore, but sometimes that God complex still rears it's ugly head."

He laughed, "It's true. I'm glad you're still in my life Addie."

"Me too!"

Meanwhile inside Alex and Meredith were sharing a tender moment of their own.

"I always knew you two would get hitched."

"We're not married yet."

"I know, but it's only a matter of time. You deserve the happily ever after Mer. I think it's great!

"Thanks, but I don't think I could've gotten this far without you. Thanks for putting up with all of my freak outs."

"Thanks for helping me to, ya know open up. Sometimes it is useful to talk about things."

"I'll probably be calling you about family and wedding stuff."

"I don't know how helpful I'll be in that department, but I'll listen."

"Yeah, same goes for me and baby stuff.

"Oh no you don't get off that easy! Once we bring her home Auntie Meredith is babysitting.

"Great! Can't wait!" she said half joking.

"But I should find Addie and split."

"Okay well tell her I said congrats. I was too busy with you to do it earlier."

"Okay will do."

Not long after Alex left Derek came in. The newly engaged couple headed straight for the bedroom, but surprisingly the taking advantage didn't happen right away. First they held each other and talked about the events of the day.

There was a lull in the conversation. After a few seconds Meredith broke the silence. "Derek."

"Hmm?"

"Thank you for today. I'm glad everyone got to share it with us."

"You're welcome. I'm glad too!"

Thank you for agreeing to marry me."

And then she kissed him. Of course this led to making love many times, but none of these were desperate. Slow, gentle and tender would be fitting words. They were showing appreciation for each other in a physical way. They fell asleep as the rays of the sun chased away the darkness.


End file.
